Meetings

"An SAA group consists of two or more individuals who, using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of SAA, meet regularly for the purpose of recovering from their addictive sexual behavior. At our meetings, we read SAA literature and share our experience, strength and hope with each other, focusing on how the SAA program of recovery works in our lives."

— Sex Addicts Anonymous, p. 10

For many of us, our first experience in SAA was attending a meeting. We knew very little about the SAA fellowship or the program of recovery it teaches. At that first meeting, we began to feel like we were no longer alone in our fight against our addiction. As we kept returning to subsequent meetings we found we were learning from others' experience how they had found freedom from the ravages of our addiction. We also began experiencing freedom in our own lives; many of us for the first time!

Joining the SAA Online Text group is easy:

  1. Check the Schedule
  2. Attend a Meeting
  3. Read the Welcome Kit
  4. Keep Coming Back!

The meeting room is open 24/7. You can frequently find someone there who is willing to listen and share their recovery journey with you even if there is not currently a meeting scheduled .

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Meeting Format

Meetings typically consist of three stages: an opening, sharing, and a closing. While this is standard, every meeting will be slightly different. Each meeting will be chaired by an experienced group member; called a trusted servant.

Opening

During the opening, a trusted servant will introduce the SAA recovery program including the 12-Steps of Recovery. They will provide an overview of the meeting format and guidelines for participation. The following is a copy of the text used to open a meeting.

It's time to begin another great meeting!

Please join me in the Serenity Prayer

God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Introduction

 Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sexual addiction and dependency. S.A.A. is not a place to meet sexual partners, nor is it group therapy. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop compulsive sexual behavior. While we all strive for sexual sobriety, its achievement is not a requirement for attendance or participation.

You are reminded that this is a Closed meeting. Logging is not allowed. Sharing is not required, but is encouraged. If you have questions and would like to talk to the trusted servant, double-click the name "Spoinlar" in the list of attendees to start a private chat.

How It Works

 (Adapted from the book Alcoholics Anonymous pp. 58-60)
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who
do not recover are people who cannot or will not give themselves to this simple
program of rigorous honesty.

Remember that we deal with sexual addiction -- cunning, baffling, powerful!
Without help, it is too much for us. But there is a Higher Power, one who can
help if you turn your problems over to His care.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and
what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to
get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But
we could not. Half measures availed us nothing.

Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery:

The 12 STEPS of SAA

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in our lives.

The Meeting Format

If you wish to share with the group, please wait until the person currently sharing is finished. Then enter "!" to request the floor. When you are finished, please end with "Done". The trusted servant will then give someone else a chance to share. Our emphasis is on honesty, recovery and healing - how to apply the Twelve Steps to our daily lives.

Sharing

  • In this meeting we use the words ‘I’ or ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ when sharing about our recovery.
  • We address our sharing to the whole group, not to one or more individuals.
  • This meeting is not a place to meet sexual partners, nor is it group therapy.
  • We try not to use offensive language, or descriptions that are too explicit. We avoid mentioning specific names or places associated with our acting-out behavior. Please avoid topics that can lead to dissension or distraction.
  • Our focus remains on the solution, rather than the problem.
  • You may ask for help or feedback, to be provided in "private messages" after your share. Questions will not be answered during your share.
  •  There is no time limit, but please take note of the number of participants and allow time for others to have a chance to share.

Listening

  • During a share, try to listen respectfully to what others have to say.
  • We do not respond directly to another's share, give advice (unless it is requested), or engage in "cross-talk".
  • We respect the personal boundaries of others, and do not ask questions or interrupt the person sharing.
  • We do not judge, nor do we work others' recovery for them.
  • In this group, we practice "active listening" by providing occasional gestures of support, such as: "nods head", "relates".
  • Please restrict gestures of support during a share to two words or less.
  • Please reserve words of encouragement such as 'Hang in there ... keep working it' for the end of each person's share.
  • Please be mindful of the flow of the share and time as you provide gestures and encouragements.

Private Messages

 While private messages are not forbidden, please remember that they are easily abused. Inappropriate messaging is an inner- or middle-circle behavior for some members and can be highly triggering, or even endanger or reset sobriety. This is a place for HEALING, not for acting out. Sexual or otherwise inappropriate private messaging is not allowed! Remember - the sobriety you endanger could be your own!

Anonymity

Anonymity is one of the founding principles of SAA.

Whom you see here,
what you hear here,
when you leave here,
let it stay here.

Hear, Hear!

Announcements

  • Seventh Tradition - "Every SAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." In this meeting, our group conscience indicates that contributions of $1-$2 per meeting to SAA Nationals are most appropriate. Donations can be made online at: http://saa-store.org/7thTradition/
  • Group Mail Lists - There are two email lists available to Online Text SAA Meeting members; one for all members, and one for women members only. If you would like to be added to either list, please contact the trusted servant via private message.
  • First Step Presentations - If you would like to schedule a First Step presentation, please contact the trusted servant via private message. An excellent guide to working Step One is available here: http://saa-recovery.org/SAALiterature/English/FirstStepGuide/
  • Trusted Servants Wanted - if you would like to learn to chair meetings, your service is welcomed.

Newcomers

All of us were new once, and remember the courage it takes to attend a meeting for the first time. If you are a newcomer, either to SAA or just to this group, please let us know by typing "NEW", so that we can welcome you to our group!

Welcome to our Online Text SAA group!

We recommend that you come to at least six meetings before you decide whether SAA has anything to offer you. You will find that each meeting is a little bit different.

It is also recommended that newcomers listen to a few shares before sharing themselves, to get an understanding of the nature of the group and its members.

If you would like to discuss past or current behaviors/fantasies, please speak with a more experienced member after the meeting. These people are willing to hear anything you have to share and will honor your trust with complete confidentiality.

Those who are open to speaking with a newcomer, on a completely confidential basis, please signal by sending a "*". If you are a newcomer and would like to be contacted, please signal with a "?".

Here is a link to the pamphlets newcomers typically receive at their first face-to-face meeting:

Daily Meditation

Before we open the floor for sharing, I would like to start the meeting with today's entry from "Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations For Men And Women Recovering From Sex Addiction".

INSERT MEDITATION HERE

Meetings typically last between 60-90 minutes. You may leave early if necessary, but we encourage everyone to stay for the closing and informal chat afterward.

Sharing

During the sharing portion of the meeting, group members share their experience, strength and hope with each other. We speak of ourselves and refrain from telling others how to work their recovery. This is the healing and learning portion of the meeting. We find it helpful to listen to several experienced members share prior to sharing ourselves for the first time. The following are the prompts you will see to guide you in the sharing portion of the meeting:

The floor is now open for sharing. If you would like to share, please signal by typing " ! ". The meeting will remain open until everyone who wishes to has shared.

During a share, we do not interrupt, give advice, or engage in crosstalk. Please restrict gestures of support during a share to two words or less. When you have finished sharing, please end with "Done".

Closing

It's time to end another great meeting

The 12 Promises

(From pp. 83-84 of the AA Big Book) If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through...

  • We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
  • We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
  • We will comprehend the word serenity.
  • We will know peace.
  • No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
  • That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
  • We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
  • Self-seeking will slip away.
  • Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
  • Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
  • We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
  • We will suddenly realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?

WE THINK NOT!

They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Please join me in the Serenity Prayer

God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Keep coming back!

 It works if you work it, and YOU'RE WORTH IT!

 The meeting is officially adjourned. Feel free to hang around and chat informally!

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Please e-mail help@saaonline.org to add to or update this page.